How to Move from Dysfunction to Balance

by Sandra Allen Lovelace  @SandraALovelace  #WallflowerWomen  #TimetobeYOU!

My childhood in a dysfunctional family pushed an all or nothing life strategy – strive to be perfect to keep the peace v. give up and suffer. I felt as if I were dancing on a knife edge over a bottomless pit. A  friend pointed out one day,

If it’s perfect or nothing, you’re going to end up with a whole lot of nothing. Share on X

My healing process has been an uphill walk. Along the journey, in crises of empty hands and longing heart, Jesus pulls me into a round of pondering. I pour out my feelings and opinions about the impossible dilemma threatening me. He shows me what’s behind the emotions and offers a fresh perspective. By His grace, I’m coming to understand.

Perfect and nothing are the extreme ends of the options before us. We get to choose to live anywhere along the line between the two. The balance is ours to strike. At first, we consider the concept, and hesitate to take hold. Then, as we venture forth, we’re likely to wobble and fall just like learning to ride a bicycle.

For example, feelings of loneliness threaten to overwhelm. Fear we might be falling into  unhealthy isolation takes over, and we grab for activities and relationships to fill the scary void. We find ourselves on the other side of the perfect or nothing continuum where the scenery is different, but the imbalance and tension remain.

When I’m afraid and overcompensate, Jesus draws me back for another round of pondering. As needed, He alerts me to attitudes or actions I need to correct. Or He lets me know He’s set me in a healthy phase of being set apart. He’s done both in various situations. Either way, He leads me closer to the balance I seek.

Thankfully, Jesus never leaves us to our own devices. Nor does He strong arm us to get with a willy-nilly program. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and whenever we turn to Him He’s open and able to help us find our way. We only need to be brave, and pick up our feet.

If it’s freedom, balance, and peace we desire, Jesus is the answer. Share on X

Where do you sit on the perfect or nothing line?
You get to choose . . . this very day.   Joshua 24:15

The Almighty reigns,

        Sandra