by Sandra Allen Lovelace      @SandraALovelace      #WallflowerWomen

I’ve been told often enough, and I recognize the signs well enough to believe what I hear. “Sandra, you are an encourager.” And I enjoy my assignment . . . for the most part.

One of the pitfalls of offering encouragement is that people have trouble accepting it. How would your friend respond, if you told her she’s the wisest woman in the world? She’d probably laugh out loud since there’s no evidence to prove your statement. But if you said she’s one of the wisest women you know, you’re the expert. And she’d be more willing to accept your opinion.

Another problem is that people might get suspicious when you offer a compliment. Their forehead furrows and their eyes squint at you. What do you want from me? is almost audible. This reaction will often occur in casual interactions or with new acquaintances. Thankfully it usually disappears once the person realizes there’s no hidden agenda.

The joys of sharing compliments outweigh these drawbacks. In case you haven’t noticed, this world is full of negativism. There’s nothing quite like delivering a positive comment to someone who may rarely hear one. Just the other day a cashier gave me a shocked look when I thanked her for bagging my produce all together. My expression was as authentic as I could make it.

A secret weapon I employ as I exercise my gift of encouragement is that I delight in the reactions I receive. Each smile tickles my spirit. Every eye that twinkles warms my heart. And comments often join my archive of personal encouragement. Here’s a recent example.

And one of the things I appreciate about YOU is your constant affirmation and encouragement. Thank you!  

How to Encourage with Integrity

  • Base your words on Truth.
  • Maintain honorable motives.
  • Enjoy surprising folks with positives.
  • Savor the smiles, twinkles, responses.

Are you an encourager by nature? 1 Corinthians 12:4-7
If not, there’s still ample reason to encourage others. Matthew 6:31


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    1. Hmmm, the notification isn’t working. Sorry for the delay.
      Yes. Only honest encouragement works. Folks can usually see right through the fake kind. <3

  1. I understand what you’re saying about touching your heart. It’s a wonderful trait to posess, finding your OWN comfort by making someone else feel better about themselves and perhaps open a door to HOPE. Regardless the situation.

  2. You got it, Lorijean. I think it’s one of those times Holy Spirit speaks to Himself between people and cheers us both up. <3 <3

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